“I feel like my husband thinks that if I don’t see him cheating on his diet, it doesn’t count. I don’t want to be a nag, but I know he isn’t eating right… How do you suggest I encourage him to eat better?” Cheryl Lee.
I have no magic advice for you, but I feel the pain of your situation. As a caring partner, you feel worried about how his eating habits are affecting his diabetes. From his side, he is obviously trying to please you by eating correctly in front of you (but cheating on the side).
You need to get your husband to take responsibility for his condition and accept the importance of eating correctly. After all: it is his health at stake here.
Perhaps you could help him figure out a meal plan that looks at his likes and dislikes, eating habits and schedule, and any other health issues that may affect the way he eats. Try and come up with a meal plan that’s realistic – and one he may actually stick to. That said, it’s always important to be sensitive when advising someone about their eating habits. Change is hard for everyone, especially older adults who’ve been doing what they do for a long time.
Communication is the only way that you are going to resolve this issue. Do it in a gentle way and if he does not hear what you are saying, be as honest as you can and tell him exactly how you feel.
Help him set small, achievable goals. Do this as a couple and focus on what is important. You know he doesn’t want you to be disappointed in him and your opinion is therefore important. This gives you the opportunity to help him. Maybe if you communicate to him how hard it is for you see him hiding his cheating, he might be more open with you and make everything a lot easier for both of you.
– Jeannie Berg, Diabetes Educator